He walks around aimlessly, intermittently looking outside the window, unable to speak or respond, just smiling, having to be constantly redirected physically. This is a child with a severe case of autism. It is improbable to have a discussion about religious truths with this child and he will never develop that ability. Can he have a relationship with his creator?

    That observation made me think about how we make faith something so complex that it is impossible for a segment of the population to be "saved" (have a right relationship with God and be in heaven with him).  I am thinking of the practice of making lists, however long, of essential doctrines to be believed to be considered "saved". The reality is children or people with mental disabilities are not be able to completely grasp the truths in those lists. They may not be able to understand the depths of sin, therefore could not even say the sinner's prayer with sincerity. God forbid we may also become one of those whose mind prevents them from having an articulate faith. Are those lists or requirements  important to God? Is an accurate view of the trinity or the atonement proofs of salvation? If that is the case, then how will these precious creations of God going to find salvation?

      My purpose for this reflection is to have us think about what is really important to God, to put our lives in the hands of Jesus. Jesus himself is the way to eternal life. Is your life in Jesus' hands? Are you depending on him everyday to lead you into right paths and provide for your needs? Is he your hope in life and in death? Are you known as a person who puts his life in Jesus' hands? When the day comes when your mind could not think as clearly as it used to, are you so devoted to Jesus right now that the constant sounds that people hear will be songs of praise to the Savior? Its this simple faith that God requires of us and he requires for us to teach and model to our children and to our world.

     I used to be unimpressed by this simple faith I see in the elderly, especially those who have lost the ability to think clearly. I used to be unimpressed by children's faith because it was not deep enough. However, as I know the Savior more and more, the faith displayed by those whom we consider unsophisticated- in their words and in their songs, has become a source of joy. It gives me a glimpse of the day when "Every knee shall bow, every tongue shall proclaim that Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the father." 

     One of the hardest parables to apply in life is the Parable of the Good Samaritan. A person asks "Who is my neighbor", and Jesus answers by showing a glimpse of what it means to love your neighbor. Leaving aside the issue of the model of a loving neighbor being a Samaritan, what do we learn about loving the neighbor in this parable?

     Thinking of this parable made me think of a stranded motorist in a highway. Does loving your neighbour mean stopping and helping the stranded motorist? Would it be enough to just call the police? Going out of the way to stop for a stranded motorist has its risks. What if it was a setup? What if it will take you away from your other responsibilities? Calling the police is an unsatisfactory response, even though it is a good move, since the duty of caring for the neighbour has been passed on to others. Its the same as havng other people care for others when it is within our power to help them. That is not the love shown by the Good Samaritan who invested himself so the wounded man can be healed.  

     It is hard to pontificate on this issue because it is tough to follow the action of the good Samaitan who risked his life and set aside his agenda to help out a person in need. We can't strongly blame the other two people who passed by the wounded man. We probably would have done the same thing if helping a neighbour will risk our lives or our agenda. The good Samaritan is hard to follow because his action entailed something beyond compassion. Most of us feel compassion when we see suffering, and may even give money to alleviate suffering. However, the good Samaritan went beyond compassion. He acted on his compassion by sacrificing his agenda for a time, his safety, and possibly his life. He personally treated the man's wounds. This kind of sacrifice is not inherent in the hearts of humans.  

     My purpose is not to call people to do certain things. My purpose is to help people look at their attitudes. Loving the neighbor starts with the attitude of willingness to sacrifice for the neighbor. The wars that our nation participate in have a humanitarian component, even though the motives of our leaders are most probably not pure. I sympathize with the anti-war sentiments, whether from the left or from the right. However, I want to point out that these anti-war sentiments show a lack of willingness to sacrifice for our neighbors. I understand that America can't be the savior of the world, and America does not help all the suffering equally. However, I believe we can be supportive of the steps taken to alleviate suffering overseas. We can't be so focused on our needs as a nation, which are plenty, that we get angry about American involvement in war. I am not opposed to asking our government to think about our national needs and accept that we cannot end all suffering. However, as a strong nation, America has the power to alleviate some suffering. Therefore, my call is for the toning down of the anti-war rhetoric. God commands his people a lot of times to stand up for the weak and we should be supportive of America's involvement with standing up for the weak. Violence is not a permanent solution to the chaos in the world, but violence does bring order for a time. Violence is sometimes necessary to save lives.

     One of the best examples of loving the neighbour in this present time are the adoptive parents of Michael Oher, an offensive lineman for the Baltimore Ravens. His story is told in the movie "Blindside." His adoptive parents saw him as a neighbor in need, they gave him a home, and guided him through life. Their action helped Michael Oher develop into who he is today. Some may argue that they could have sacrificed more of their resources (they were rich) so more people can be helped. However, they did invest their lives, and they made a decision that was criticized by others, and a person who was homeless not only found a home but found love. They did not throw money at the problem, which is not the most loving response to suffering. As we look at our world with these examples of sacrificing for the neighbor, instead of being critical, let us examine our attitudes towards the neighbor right in front of us. We don't have to go to urban slums or overseas to find the "neighbor" in need. Are we willing to sacrifice our agendas for that neighbor? That is the kind of love Jesus calls us to. 

     In Clash of the Titans, the god of the underworld, Hades, had a plan to take over as head of the Greek pantheon (gods and godesses), a position occupied by Zeus. His plan was to make mankind hate Zeus by bringing calamities upon mankind, so that they will not worship him anymore. Devoid of worship, the powers of Zeus will diminish, opening the way for Hades to defeat Zeus. Zeus definitely needed worship, or he diminishes.

     This plan made me think of the question, "Does God need anything?" Does the creator need anything? If we look at only the need for survivival, the creator in a theistic worldview is the source of life, therefore, he does not depend on anything outside him to give him life. Besides, not being confined in a body, he does not have the same need for sustenance as human bodies do. He also does not depend on anything outside of himself to keep him safe, the second tier in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. No one can harm God the creator, who is the source of all power.

    What should we consider need? Is it just what is necessary for survival, or is there more to need? Should we completely separate need from desire? Or is desire a pointer to something deeper that humans need? Is Maslow right in extending human need beyond survival and identifying three more tiers- love, self-esteem, and self-actualization? There are reports that some infants died from lack of interaction, they just failed to thrive. This seems to show that a sense of love is necessary for a person to thrive.  When God created Adam, he judged his creation to be incomplete because no suitable mate was found for Adam. God definitely thought that Adam needed a mate, even though Adam did not die from being alone. Since humans today experience loneliness, it makes sense to believe that the first man experienced loneliness, a desire/need for another, and God lovingly met that need/desire. This points to the validity of seeing need as something beyond what is necessary for survival, what is necessary for God's creation to be complete. If God created man with the need for another, then we can't dismiss the desire for another as superfluous need. Man feels a hole in his being when this need is not met. It does not kill him, but it leaves him incomplete. Does God need an "other" to make him feel love? This is the beauty of the Christian doctrine of the trinity, that from all eterniity, the one God existed in relationship, God the father and God the son loved each other from all eternity.

     What about the need for self-esteem, to be seen as competent and a contributing member of society? God gave mankind a purpose, and later on gave them gifts to fulfill their pupose, which is good works. God had humans take part in his continuing creation by having them spread out and exercise dominion over creation. As the source of purpose, wisdom, and as the helper of mankind, in his common and special grace, God does not have anything to clarify his purpose. He has his plans and he knows he will accomplish it.

     What about the need for self-actualization? Self-actualization can be conceived of as salvation, however conceived. Self-actualization is the feeling of arriving at the end of a journey, that end being oneness with God or acceptance of God. However salvation is conceived, God is the end of the journey- he is the judge or the end-point. In Christianity, salvation is a promise that is so real, it is experienced in the present. It is a reality that is already and not yet. Because God is the end of the actualized self, it does not make sense to think of God as needing self-actualization or salvation.

     So what if God does not need anything? Everything that God does is because it enhances him. He gives us grace and kindness, not because he needs something from us, but because it is his pleasure to do so. He delights in our praise, but he won't feel diminished without it. A father can delight in his chilren's affection, but not feel diminished without it. He can love his child even if his child has stopped giving him the pleasure of his obedience and affection. God maintains relationship because it is his pleasure to do so. May we handle our relationships in the same way, loving as an end in itself, not as means to an end.  

    I present to you - "A day in the life of a childcare worker".

Child: Look at the scars in my arm.

CCW: How did that happen?

Child: I did it to myself.

CCW: What made you do that?

Child: To cover up the pain?

CCW: What pain?

Child: Emotional pain.

     Then the CCW talked about more mature or healthy ways to deal with emotional pain- talking to others, taking a walk, etc. As I spoke to this child, it dawned on me that we adults have no lasting solution to the problem of emotional pain either. Adult solutions may not be as unhealthy as cutting one's self, but nevertheless, those solutions will not eliminate emotional pain.  

     Emotional pain is incurable. Physical pain can usually be controlled by medicine, although it can be argued that too much medicine damages your body. Emotional pain stays with you. Some cover it up by drinking, taking drugs, focusing on other activities, trying to project a different image, etc. I still feel the pain of losing a job almost seven years ago, even though I feel that I am in a more fulfilling job today. A man that is rejected by one woman may run after different women for fear of being rejected again. A man may go to parties all the time so he does not have to think about how lonely he is.

     Emotional pain is prevalent because many of our needs are beyond our control. Think about somebody who feels the need for true friendship. We can tell that person to be a good friend so he can find good friends- connect with people, be kind, etc. However, this does not guarantee that other people will reciprocate and become true friends. We are never in full control of other people. We may get somebody to hang out with us if we buy them things, but that would not necessarily make them care for us as friends. Therefore, that lack of true friendship will be an emotional pain.

     What could be done about emotional pain then? In my experience, the more the pain is accepted, the lesser power it has to control life. One reason is that self-awareness increases self-control. I think another reason is that the root of emotional pain is lack of control. A person could not prevent another person he considers a true friend to betray him. People sometimes die suddenly, despite their "healthy" habits, which brings the pain of grief to a family. We just could not fully control the losses in our lives- employment, health, independence, etc. Maybe that acceptance of our lack of control gives our hearts peace. Maybe it causes us to stop having the attitude that says "I am in control", thereby giving our souls rest. The answer to emotional pain seems to be to let the tears flow, to let ourselves go to the valley of the shadow of death. Then in that valley, we will be carried by the great shepherd who will also wash away the tears from our eyes.  

     I have been reflecting on the President's call to cilvility in politics. On the one hand, we as human beings don't have all the answers, therefore we need to approach the public square with humility. That could be the foundation of our dealings with people. On the other hand, should there not be room for calling each other to repentance? The truth is, there are times when our hearts are not right, when in our zeal for our agendas, we trample on other people.  Should we not repent of those times? Maybe civility is not only the responsibility of the communicator, but also of the responder. Maybe the responder also needs to show humility (a willingness to acknowledge wrong and change) in public discourse, instead of just complaining about being offended.

     I thought about this as I remembered Jesus' encounters with people. Jesus did show gentleness and compassion towards people. He was loved by many sinners of his day because he did not treat them as outcasts, he ate and spent time with them. However, Jesus would not be considered a proponent of political correctness. He once told some religious leaders that they are hypocrites and that they will face God's judgment. Jesus hardly showed there a sign of willingness to dialogue. This demonstrates that Jesus' primary goal in his encounters is not understanding, or building relationships. I believe that Jesus' primary goal is to bring people to repentance. In fact, he began his ministry with a call to repentance. In Jesus' view, similar to the Old Testament prophets, Israel needed to repent of its sins, to return to its covenant with Yahweh. Why is this important? Jesus is often portrayed as a very gentle person who accepts everybody just as they are, not pointing out wrongs. In reality, Jesus favors humble and repentant people over religious people who thought they are good people. He came to sinners, to call them to repentance, not just to sit with them. He opposed the religious leaders who were not repentant.

    Jesus' blunt assessment of the unrepentant religious leaders, and the call to testify to hope with gentleness and respect seem to be contradictory.  The apostle Paul debates unbelievers, while Jesus speaks with authority, not as the teachers of the law. Jesus presents his word as final, not open to discussion. The apostle Paul calls the church the pillar of truth, while at the same time showing great respect to everyone. What does this say about the Christian stance in the marketplace of ideas? Here are some thoughts.

1. The proclamation of the Christian faith should be thought of as a proclamation of truth. Although the Christian can show appreciation for the wisdom in other religions, he must express his conviction that Christ is the ultimate source of truth.

2. The goal of the proclamation should be repentance (changed lives), not winning an argument or gaining converts to one's point of view. The Christian faith is not just an idea to be adhered to, but a way of life characterized by humility towards God and others.

     Why am I feeling this way? This is a question I asked as I struggled with a certain temptation. In asking this question, I was able to look at my inner self. I came face to face with the sinful self within, a self I would not recognize if I would not have examined myself. This is a prerequesite to repentance, which leads to forgiveness.

     I call the above event a moment of mindfulness. Mindfulness is becoming aware of what is happening to me- to my body (sensations), my mind (thoughts), and my heart (feelings). Mindfulness is a great guide in personal growth, including spiritual growth. In the Christian story, the person favored by God is the one who looks at his lowliness, the one who examines himself and sees the darkness within. This person knows that he has hated God and hated others, therefore, he is under God's judgment. The person who sees the darkness within is the one who will turn to God for salvation from his judgment. The person who sees the darkness within is the one who will turn to Jesus, the Savior chosen by God, in faith.

     I have wondered about the big deal about Jesus' coming. I knew theologically that Jesus is God incarnate acting to save his people by taking their place. He died the death that we deserved because of our darkness. He rose again to give us a new beginning, this time with a heart that desires to love God and others. It is by pushing myself to be mindful that I have grown in the knowledge of the darkness within, and as I became more aware, I have grown in my gratitude towards the God who not only saved me from my sins, but also provided me with everything that has given me joy.

    This new year, wherever you are in your faith walk, I encourage you to be mindful. I encourage you to put your efforts into understanding yourself. How can you do this? One way is to examine yourself after you have become angry. Some people say that being angry is completely fine, and the way we express anger is what could be problematic. However, understanding your anger can lead you to seeing the darkness within. What makes you angry has something to do with your values and priorities. These values and priorities may not be in line with God's values and priorities. Jonah was chastised by God for being so angry about God being gracious to the people of Nineveh, whom Jonah was sent to proclaim God's judgment to. He was also chastised for being angry with God for not keeping him comfortable, but then not caring for the possible death of many people. Jonah's anger was a revelation of his dark heart. Maybe your anger at your children is a revelation of a dark heart, a heart that values control above all things, and your children got in the way of your desire for control.

     Then as you discover the darkness within you, may you turn to the one who can heal the darkness, Jesus the Savior.

     "How far have I sunk?", Joseph asked as he found himself cleaning garbage cans. Joseph was a happy man, rich and well-educated in his native country. However, because of a turn of events, Joseph had to leave his country with his family. Joseph became a refugee. He lost all his material possessions and found himself dependent on the charity of others. Now Joseph found himself in a new land, where he is a stranger and his previous life did not matter. He found himself doing work he never dreamed of. Some of you could resonate with Joseph's feeling of being trapped in a life you never dreamed of. Maybe the economic turn of events left you without a home and without a job you are proud of. Maybe your health has deteriorated and you feel that you have become a burden, unable to care for yourself. Maybe you just struggle with a general feeling of unworthiness, that who you are and what you do does not matter.

     The Lord of the universe felt what it was like to be insignificant. He knows what it was like to walk in your shoes, and this same Lord is watching over you. This same Lord is asking you to walk with him, and in walking with him, you will find "heaven". Remember that this Christmas, we are not celebrating the birth of a mere man or a deity coming to earth to do something spectacular like becoming a king who goes to war against evil. The closest stories we have are of lesser gods becoming incarnated, defeating an evil king and/or telling their disciples how to find "heaven". We are talking about the Lord of the universe, the one who brought the world into existence and is behind history, coming to earth as a helpless baby. According to the Christian story, the creator was conceived and was a fetus in his mother's womb, receiving his sustenance from her. He was born, once in history, in a manger, a place where animals feed. He was dependent on his parents for everything; food, clothes, love, cleanliness. His parents had to teach him how to function in his world, to work and to treat others. 

     It is a mystery how the creator of the universe, the eternal word, could empty himself of who he is. It will take volumes to talk about that mystery. The God of all gods, the one who sustains the universe, became insignificant. If you are struggling with a sense of significance- "Do I matter?", "Does what I do matter", think about the baby in the manger. A baby is the epitome of helplessness, vulnerable to the whims of his parents, and to the forces of nature and history. Those who saw this baby saw a helpless human being. However, the Christian story continues with this baby becoming the man who will save humanity. He will not do it by weapons or by political power. He will save humanity by a great display of humility, giving his life in the place of sinful humanity, in the place of you and I who have not wholeheartedly loved God and others. God's standard of love could not be broken, sinfulness leads to eternal separation from God and from life itself. By a seemingly insignificant act, this man would die in our place so that we could be in the presence of God and life itself. God's power was shown in the insignificant. Praise be to God!  

     My daughter and I play a version of hide and seek. Instead of hiding ourselves from each other, we would hide a toy. We would take turns hiding the toy and the other person would look for the toy. One time, I thought of throwing her off. I hid the toy behind me, not in any spot in the house. Needless to say, my daughter looked at places in the house, until I gave her clues that led to me as the location of the toy. The toy she is looking for all along was not outside of me but is "in" me.

     I heard in the radio about an encournter between Pastor Greg Laurie and a man who said he "tried" Jesus but it did not work for him. What is this man thinking? I believe that this man thought of using Jesus as a way to fulfill his dreams. His dream could have been to become successful financially or relationally or whatever else kind of dreams men have. This man looked at Jesus as a teacher who would help him fulfill his dreams by pointing him in the right direction. However, Jesus is not a teacher who points us to a right direction, but one who pointed to himself as the right direction. He did not say to people "I will show you the way to rest, to be freed from your troubles", but he told people "come and walk with me and you will find rest for your souls." Jesus presented himself as the end, not a means to an end. 

     To see Jesus as a means to an end is to see our deepest longings apart from him. To see Jesus as an end is to see our deepest longings in him. What does it mean to see Jesus as an end, and not a means to an end? It means to allow Jesus to lead us, to shape our dreams. It means giving up the pursuit of self-glorification, to carry our cross and follow him to calvary, where he emptied himself to the point of humiliation, being nailed to a cross and dying on a cross. This is the way to resurrection, to the end of death and the beginning of life in God's presence, our ultimate longing. 

     As I look back in my life, I have seen how I have held on to self-glorifying dreams. They were dreams that became a burden to me, and a cause of suffering for my family. Christ has taken my self-glorifying dreams and gave me peace in my soul. May he do the same for you as you give him your dreams. Trust him to give you rest.

     I am a chaplain and people ask me a lot to pray for them. I do struggle with this concept of prayer. On one hand, God invites us to pray, and promises to listen to us and bless us when we turn to him. On the other hand, prayer sometimes lift up our expectations and then disappoint us. A lot of times prayer goes unanswered.

     As I meditate on prayer, I want to address two extremes. Some people make the statement that prayer does not change God but it changes the praying person. This statement feels to me that the person who says this statement is hedging. Its like saying, your prayer may not be answered, but you will be better for it (increase faith, patience, etc). The biblical data seem to suggest that God does change his plans as a result of the prayers of his people. King Hezekiah prayed to God to prolong his life after God has said that the king will die from his sickness. God prolonged Hezekiah's life as a response to his prayer. Therefore, it seems that God does change his plans. Some try to settle the incongruity of God being unchangeable with God changing his plan as a response to prayer by saying that God moved the heart of a person to pray and uses that prayer as part of his plan to answer that prayer. This poses a problem. Some are moved to pray but their prayers are not answered. God did not change his mind, but this leaves the problem of why pray when God has determined his answer already?

     On the other extreme are those who look at prayer as something magical. We are fascinated with worlds where witches, magicians, etc. can make things happen with just a wave of a wand, or with some magical words. There are some people who exploit this fascination by having people go through some payer techniques (imagine in detail what you want and have great faith that you will get it) to get what they want. Or some claim that others can be blessed by donating to their ministries in addition to praying. Then if prayer does not get answered, they may say to the prayng person that they just do not have enough faith. This crushes the spirit of the person who expects God to give him what he desies. How much faith or works is enough?

     As I meditate on the mystey of prayer, I though about my relationship with my daughter and the kids I work with. Even though I have love for them, I would not grant them everything they want. The reason is that I have an agenda for them. For example, I may not let a child watch TV not because TV is bad but I want them to learn to be structued, not just jumping from one activity to another. The child has an agenda and I respect that because of my love for them. However, that agenda must be brought in harmony with my agenda because I am the authority and am responsible for their development as persons.

     What does this have to do with prayer? You have an agenda and God has an agenda. Prayer is communicating your agenda to God, asking him if it could have a place in his agenda. Humility requires us to accept God's no. Remember though that God respects your needs and desires. God is not disintereted in your happiness, he cares about your happiness, but within his agenda for you. God may not allow you to get a certain job because he wants you to flourish and develop your person in your present job, not in another job. However, he did listen to you when you asked for that job and is taking into account why you cared about getting that job. This example is benign but the prayer may be about something more heart-rending, like the recovery of a loved one. Although it may be difficult to take, these things remain true.

1. God has an agenda for his world.

2. God cares about your concerns (said and unsaid0.

3. God may include your concern in his agenda or he may not.

4. If he does not, God remains concerned about you concerns.   

     I was observing the reactions to the announcement of the pastor of a small church in Florida that Korans will be burned to commemmorate September 11. Many Muslims went into the streets protesting and even worse, committing violent acts against Christians. It is good to have a zeal for God, and I want to reflect on what all these violence says about their God.

     Humans abhor insults to their honor. It is understandable for a person to hit somebody for cursing at him, or destroying his property. The radical muslims who started inflicting violence because of this news presents God as somehow like us. This is a God who would not take insults, who avenges himself on his enemies.  

    The Christian conception of God is someone who became human and accepted the insults of his enemies, and still loved them, offering them peace. He must have felt anger as his enemies insulted him, but he resisted reacting with murder but instead accomplished his mission, bringing eternal life to his people. He is a God who gave himself for the forgiveness of his people despite all the evil they have done. He is a longsuffering God who makes the rain shine on those who believe and those who do not. The death and resurrection of Jesus signaled for us today an age of invitation, not an age of judgment, which will come later. It is an invitation to a great feast, where God is the host and people of all nations will be satisfied.

    If we are believers in this God, we could not respond with hate to those who burn churches, bibles, or crosses. Besides, God is not contained in churches, bibles or crosses. Our devotion is to the God presented in the bible, not the bible itself. We are not to be religious zealots whose devotion is to a book, and would harm others just because they are not one of them. We could not respond with hate on those who insult us because God does not respond in hate. This does not mean we repress anger or sadness. However, it does mean that our stance should be towards reconciliation, being at peace with our enemies. We are followers of a reconciling God.