I present to you - "A day in the life of a childcare worker".

Child: Look at the scars in my arm.

CCW: How did that happen?

Child: I did it to myself.

CCW: What made you do that?

Child: To cover up the pain?

CCW: What pain?

Child: Emotional pain.

     Then the CCW talked about more mature or healthy ways to deal with emotional pain- talking to others, taking a walk, etc. As I spoke to this child, it dawned on me that we adults have no lasting solution to the problem of emotional pain either. Adult solutions may not be as unhealthy as cutting one's self, but nevertheless, those solutions will not eliminate emotional pain.  

     Emotional pain is incurable. Physical pain can usually be controlled by medicine, although it can be argued that too much medicine damages your body. Emotional pain stays with you. Some cover it up by drinking, taking drugs, focusing on other activities, trying to project a different image, etc. I still feel the pain of losing a job almost seven years ago, even though I feel that I am in a more fulfilling job today. A man that is rejected by one woman may run after different women for fear of being rejected again. A man may go to parties all the time so he does not have to think about how lonely he is.

     Emotional pain is prevalent because many of our needs are beyond our control. Think about somebody who feels the need for true friendship. We can tell that person to be a good friend so he can find good friends- connect with people, be kind, etc. However, this does not guarantee that other people will reciprocate and become true friends. We are never in full control of other people. We may get somebody to hang out with us if we buy them things, but that would not necessarily make them care for us as friends. Therefore, that lack of true friendship will be an emotional pain.

     What could be done about emotional pain then? In my experience, the more the pain is accepted, the lesser power it has to control life. One reason is that self-awareness increases self-control. I think another reason is that the root of emotional pain is lack of control. A person could not prevent another person he considers a true friend to betray him. People sometimes die suddenly, despite their "healthy" habits, which brings the pain of grief to a family. We just could not fully control the losses in our lives- employment, health, independence, etc. Maybe that acceptance of our lack of control gives our hearts peace. Maybe it causes us to stop having the attitude that says "I am in control", thereby giving our souls rest. The answer to emotional pain seems to be to let the tears flow, to let ourselves go to the valley of the shadow of death. Then in that valley, we will be carried by the great shepherd who will also wash away the tears from our eyes.