As I thought about one of my clients at work going to foster care, a vision of a child carrying her suitcase and walking into the darkness came into my mind. As a child who does not have a stable family she belongs to, I can just imagine the feeling of aloneness in her as she faces the future away from what she has known for awhile, the resdential facility and all the people in it.

     As for me, I have also faced the darkness. I remembered graduating from seminary not really knowing what I was going to do next. I had no vision of the future and I felt purposeless. However, unlike my client, I had an earthly family that I was able to come back to in the midst of my broken dreams. My relationship with my earthly family was less than ideal and I felt like a failure coming back. However, looking back, the stable eartly family was used by God to give me some relief as he led me into new directions.

     The power of family should be no surprise since the scriptures point to the family as ideally the foundation of economic and social welfare. The protection against land being taken away from a family, as shown for example by the law concerning the primary right of the kinsman redeemer to claim a family member's property, attests to the family being the foundation of economic welfare. The recognition of the parent's day to day role in shaping children's character to make them fit for life in a godly society attests to the family being the foundation of social welfare, since moral individuals make a moral society. In God's plan, the family, and not the state, is responsible for the welfare and moral education of individuals.  

     However, for me, the presence of family was not enough, especially because of the presence of sin. What truly sustained me was the belief in God's immutable presence. The same God who provided me happiness before was the same God who was with me during the times when I stepped into the darkness is the same God who is with me and he is capable of guiding me to the light. I hope that as you face the darkness, that you feel the presence of the God who was with you during times of joy.

     What also helped through the darkness is my belief that I belong in the family of God, the church. In the church, I found a community to mitigate the sadness I felt as I went through the darkness. The church also reminded me of the God who is there both in the good times and the bad times. I hope that the church would be for you who are facing the darkness an oasis in the midst of sadness. 

      There is a story in the Bible about Israel, the people of God, complaining about not having food and God giving them Manna (some kind of bread) and Quail as a response to their complaint. Some of us may be tempted to condemn the Israelites for not trusting God when sometime ago, they experienced God saving them from the Egyptians who chased them in an attempt to enslave them again.

     How could the Israelites lose sight of God's care for them? I believe that the experience of pain, in the form of hunger, blinded them from the reality of God's care. This should be understandable since a usual human reaction to pain is to question God's care. This brings me to the next question, "how can God allow experiences that make people doubt his care, and even his reality?"

     One biblical character, Joseph, experienced injustice in the hands of his brothers (they sold him into slavery), years of punishment for a crime he did not commit, being forgotten by somebody he has helped, and not seeing his mother during her last days. Where is God in the midst of Joseph's experience of suffering? Although the question of why God allows experiences that make people doubt his care is not directly answered by Joseph's story, it gives us a glimpse of how God operates.

1. God's love is sometimes not shown by taking us out of terrible situations. In Joseph's case, God's love is shown by being given wisdom and favor in the eyes of those whom he came in contact with. Many generations later, God assured Jesus of his love but he did not spare him from suffering. I believe this shows that God wants us to look for him not outside of our suffering but in the midst of our suffering.

2. God can use suffering for a greater good. God's concern is not just for the individual, but for whole communities. In reflecting on his life, Joseph told his brothers, "what you meant for evil, God meant for good, so the lives of many would be saved." Joseph was the one who made sure there would be food during a great famine. Jesus' suffering, although men intended it for evil, resulted in the reconcilliation of sinful men to God. I believe this shows that God intends to use our suffering for greater good. 

     It may seem cruel for God to allow people to suffer for the greater good. However, for the one whose desire is the glory of God, this is a sweet consolation.    

    I was reading in scriptures how Abraham, when he was looking for a graveyard for his wife, bowed down to the Hittites, the people whom he lived in the midst of. I have reflected on the significance of this bow and also the response of the Hittites to Abraham. The Hittites were willing to give him land to bury his wife for free, like it was his home. I see in this bible story Abraham's humility and his good reputation.

    When I was in college, I used to be concerned about beating those who oppose Christianity in arguments. I got myself familiar with apologetics so I can win arguments. Honestly, part of it is my fear of being taught of as not smart enough. I was very much concerned about my reputation. In the church today, we have meetings about reaching the community, being relevant, building relationships. A pastor asked me before if having potluck after church builds community. I said "no" since a potluck does not guarantee that people will be talking to each other, much less build relationships.

    This passage reminds me about the proper attitude towards our "mission fields". Abraham displayed humility, even though he has a special relationship with God. Humility streghtens relationships and relationships build community. One aspect of humility is showing deference towards others. Abraham's bow and his insistence that he pay for his wife's gravesite show that deference. What is our attitude towards those who disagree with us? Do we want to put them down or are we willing to value their opinion. Valuing a person's opinions, even when we disagree, is a sign of deference.

     We also notice in the interaction between Abraham and the Hittites that Abraham is well liked by the Hittites. I used to think that not caring about what others think is a sign of courage and courage is good. Something good can be said about standing for convictions. However, the bible also talks about the importance of a good reputation and Abraham definitely had a good reputation. Some people in Christian circles deliberately alienate those they disagree with by displaying an antagonistic attitude.

     Is it possible to stand up for convictions and be liked at the same time? I believe it is possible, by learning to communicate our convictions without putting down the convictions of others. Some kids and some adults display "opinionatedness." They demonize the views of others and lift up their own views as if it is the only right view. This is easily seen in the political arena, those on the left depict those in the right as uncaring, and those on the right depict those in the left as immoral.

     We should not encourage "opinionatedness" in our children, even if it is for the right things. When your child communicates a strong opinion about something, teach her that other people have good reasons for their opinions. There is always something good in people because they are made in the image of God. 

Songs that talk about the drive for greatness appeals to me. Two songs by Survivor come to mind- "Moment of Truth" and "Eye of the Tiger". Whitney Houston's "One moment in time" appeal to me also for the same reason. Those songs appeal to me because deep inside, I have the desire to stand out, to be better than anybody else, to be great.

This truth about me prompted me to ask the question,"Is the desire to be the best compatible with the Christian life?" This question comes in light of two things.

1. The Apostle's Paul admonition for Christians to imitate Christ who "Being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped".

2. The frustration that this drive will most definitely cause. Most of us will not become the best at what we do and would not reach the goals we have set for ourselves. Think about the Buffalo Bills, with their four Super Bowl appearances, and losing all of them. Imagine the frustration among the players who I'm sure had dreams of winning the Super Bowl, and getting so close. 

The truth is there are many things in life that we cannot change. The fact that we will most probably not reach the goals we set for ourselves is just one of them. How should we deal with this reality?

1. I believe we should leave the results of our "works" in God's providence. We are ultimately not in control of our futures. The solution to things not going our way is not to try harder to make things work our way. Behind frustration may be a call to accept that we are not in complete control. Frustration could also be a sign that God is leading us in a new direction. Wherever God is leading, remember that his goal is growth in our character, not necessarily our comfort or happiness.

2. Does that mean we should do our "work" haphazardly? What do we make of our desire to be great. Is that desire wrong? The desire to stand above others or to have complete control of our environments, including the people in them causes heartache for the person and those who are affected. However, God calls us to have dominion. Therefore, the desire for greatness is related to God's call to have dominion.

3. What is the goal of dominion? To participate in God's continuing creation, the Spirit's movement to perfect creation. This could take the form of finding cure for certain diseases. This could take the form of enhancing food production. This could take the form of giving people something to be admired- beauty, strength, speed. God enjoys a great football play and great artwork just like the next person. He created fast and beautiful animals and he enjoys them. He said creation was good when the animals were formed. Then he said creation was very good when humans were formed. All creation delighted God and our work delights God. We don't have to be great in everyone's eyes. Before God, we are already precious.     

There are some songs that are so memorable to me that I am taken back in time when I hear them. One of these songs is called "Let the Flame Burn Brighter" by Graham Kendrick. The chorus goes,

"Let the flame burn brighter in the heart of the darkness, turning night into glorious day, let our song grow louder, as our love grows stronger, let it shine, let it shine.

This song brings me back to Urbana 93. It was Dec. 31,1993 that I made the decision to pursue ministry. I had big dreams then. I saw myself as a witness to that flame that burns bright in the heart of the darkness. I thought I would be an instrument to turn the night into glorious day. I envisioned large crowds coming to faith or at least being part of a movement that will bring about a revival of faith.

For various reasons, this big dream has become a broken dream. I had to rethink my life, what had become of that dream. A new vision came to me, its a thousand little candles bringing light to a dark world. Those candles, by themselves, look insignificant. By themselves, they could not push back the darkness.

Those individual candles are like most of us. Our lives may not look significant. However, combined with all those other little candles, we become part of a movement to bring light into a dark world.

Maybe our sphere of influence is not a big auditorium. Maybe our sphere of influence are three kids who know the love of Jesus because of us. This is God's plan, that little candles will spring up throughout creation, bringing light into a dark world. 

God sent the Holy Spirit as a tongue of fire that descended on individuals. It did not come as the spectacular sight of a big fireball. The challenge for many of us is to fight the despair that comes from starting out with visions of a big flame only to find ourselves as little candles. God is using little candles to bring light into a dark world. To God be the Glory.

I have been critical of the idea that Christianity is all about a personal relationship with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, it is true that to be a Christian is to have a personal relationship with Jesus. My problem before was that some Christians see themselves as having a pipeline to God. They don't have to listen to preachers, to other Christians in history, etc. They have their bible and hear directly from God. This God is usually only concerned about their personal fulfillment, and not about loving their neighbors, especially the helpless.

I realize now that sometimes everything has to melt away and look at yourself as standing right before God. People have many expectations of us and it will drive us insane if we think too much about what other people think of us and how we are conducting our lives. Not that it is not important what people think, but we must remember that God is ultimately the judge of our hearts. We must listen to his voice to help us know if there are any error in us, and then humbly acknowledge those errors to God and to others.   

I believe that when the bible says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom", it invites us to let everything melt away and then invites us to stand before God with an open heart, ready to accept his correction and his forgiveness. Our "wisdom' is sometimes clouded by people's expectations of us. We act sometimes based on what others expect of us instead of acting based on what God expects of us. For example, we could be afraid of losing the friendship of someone who expects us to be supportive of him no matter what he does, therefore, we never question his behavior. However, to fear the Lord would require us to tell the truth about a friend's behavior, even if it means losing that friend. God must stand above everything in our lives. That is what it means to fear the Lord. 

I loved the prequel to the Star Wars series. It was intriguing to see the process in which Darth Vader became who he is. The Star Wars prequel helped us become familiar with Darth Vader by recounting the story of Anakin Skywalker, the man who became Darth Vader.

I have been thinking about people who claim to know Jesus but have worldviews that are contrary to the Jewish worldview. There are some who claim to know Jesus who believe that everything is God (Pantheists). There are some who claim to know Jesus (or at least understand his teachings and seek to apply them) who believe that God is not involved in history (Deists). 

A recent sermon by my Pastor has brought me to a reflection on the words above the cross "King of the Jews." Is this just mocking words  or a statement of Jesus' claim, which is also his crime? Or did God also intend for these words to be a statement of Jesus' identity, an identity we must explore if we are to know Jesus fully?

I believe that the second statement is true. God intended the statement above the cross to be a prequel to the story of Jesus. In other words, if we want to know Jesus, we need to look at the story of the Jewish people and their aspirations concerning their king. This story is recorded in the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, we find out that the throne of the king is also the throne of the personal God who created the universe and liberated the Jews from bondage (Psalm 2). In the Old Testament, we also find out that the King of the Jews will become the king of all nations (Isaiah 11).

We cannot make up a Jesus who fits our own worldviews or mindsets. Jesus could not be one of many gods in a pantheon. Jesus could not just be the ideal human being. Jesus could not just be a regular prophet who teaches us about God and his standards. Jesus is the ultimate king of the Jews, the one who fulfills the human aspiration for shalom (Matthew 11:25-30). Any other Jesus is not the true Jesus. May you turn to the King of the Jews for the peace that your heart longs for.       

In my days as a Marine, I heard a Marine sergeant talk about how he would deal with an insubordinate Marine. He said he would not put him on trial for insubordination, thereby causing him to lose pay. He said he would deal with him by taking him outside and fighting him, and even if he loses, the insubordinate Marine would be in a bad shape. This Marine sergeant was proud of his attitude, that he is confident of his physical power.

A person who uses positional power (a commanding officer who threatens a subordinate with loss of pay) or physical power (a sergeant who threatens physical harm) are both acting in a way that negates the gospel. Both people are worshipping power. They deny the Lord who calls us to be servants to each other, instead of Lording it over each other. This same Lord Jesus served us by dying in place of those who believe in him so that they may become right with God. 

I have been a person who worships power. One illustration of that is my joining the Marine Corps because I wanted to be considered so tough that I was able to go through initiation into the toughest branch of the Armed forces.

I had a profound discovery as I now work as a Childcare worker. That discovery is that my influence is stronger when I am more focused on being gentle than on being tough. People respond better to a gentle firmness than harsh use of power. The effects of the harsh use of power is temporary. It does not effect lasting change. The person being controlled by power will rebel against that control when he becomes stronger, and the cycle of violence continues. It is unwise to control people through power (physical or positional), unless as a last resort, when a person's insubordination is endangering the peace of the group. But even then, effort must be made to bring the insubordinate one to reconciliation.

God in his wisdom displays his power through the cross, a seeming display of weakness and defeat. As you are tempted to control others, your children or anybody else, by using any form of power (physical, positional, etc), think of the Savior who did not think of his own honor (the reason people usually resort to harsh use of power), but of our need. He did not come to judge us who are insubordinate, but to save us from God's wrath by dying on the cross in our place.

This may say something about me, but family related images in scripture don't really touch my heart. Last time I spoke about adoption, about how it was not a meaningful concept to me until one moment at work. I heard one of the children I work for basically told me that being adopted would really prove to him that staff care for him.

There is another family related concept that I did not care much about in scripture, that is the concept of inheritance. I don't really think about God giving me an inheritance. Do we really need things in the new creation? I know the Holy Spirit is thought of as an inheitance but I really did not understand why the Holy Spirit would be called an inheritance.

A way to understand inheritance is to suspend our over-spiritualization of the scriptures. The scriptures are down to earth. It is true that the most important aspect of the promise to the descendants of Abraham is being called God's people, a spiritual concept. However, we usually don't think that the giving of land is an integral part of being God's people.

The giving of the land or having an inheritance in God's land is an expression of God's care. A father leaves his possessions to his children so they can be cared for. It is a sign of the father's continued care for his children. It is the father's affirmation that his children belong to him. It is a sign to the children that their father cares for them.

Land is life. It is through the land that a person gets his livelihood. When Israel lost the land because of their sin, it was a sign of being driven out from God the father's care. Of course, God still cared and provided for Israel. However, it is not the same.

Israel was not in God's presence anymore. I know God is present everywhere, but he is especially present in the temple, where God chose to have his dwelling among his people. By losing the land, Israel has lost its place in God's presence.

So what do we make of the idea of inheritance. Jesus has replaced the temple as the place we go to be in the presence of God. Jesus is God incarnate. As believers, we are in the presence of Jesus. That is our inheritance. It is the symbol of God's care that he brought us to Jesus. We are taken care of for all eternity.

I don't know if we are all going to have our own spaces when Jesus comes to establish the new heavens and the new earth. I think what is important to know is that we, as believers, will have a place in Jesus' presence. That is our inheritance.

     There are some teachings in the bible that does not naturally touch my heart. One of these teachings is adoption- that Christians are adopted as sons of God because of Christ's sacrifice. It probably does not touch my heart because I have not experienced being an orphan. Also, for a variety of reasons, being part of a family was not a big deal.

     I remember the first time I appreciated this doctrine. One day at my work, one of the kids made a statement that stuck to my mind. He said, "if this staff member really cares for me, then she would adopt me." 

    At first, I thought I would respond by making an excuse for the staff member not being able to adopt him. However, as I think about it, I realized that a residential facility could never be a home. Staff come and go into the life of the kids. Staff's life is not tied to the child's life.

     In a family, the life of the parents who have committed their life to the child is bound with the life of the child. When a child is sick, the parent would sometimes stay near the child for a whole night. This kind of committment is what this child was looking for, and staff members could never provide that committment. What this child needs is a family that would bind their life to his life. That is his deepest desire.

     All of us sometimes feel alone. We need someone who is committed to us in the midst of sin, disappointments, and finally death. We need someone who will bind his life to our life. Ultimately, the death of Jesus, God's son, is the expression of God's binding his life to the life of the believer. As one song says "I'm forgiven, because you were forsken". 

     May you find comfort in God's binding his life to your life, a truth expressed in the word adoption. As Christians, may we reflect in our committment to others, the committment of our God who adopts us into his family.