One incident that broke my heart was witnessing my daughter cry so hard because another child would not play with her, and was even avoiding her. I held her in my arms as she cried that the other child does not like her. As a father, there is a part of me that wanted to protect her from painful experiences. However, I also know that there is no way to completely protect my child from all physical and emotional pain. It will be a part of her life. 

     This incident reminded me of a statement in the TV show "House". The main character (Dr. House) refused to allow a dying man to give up treatment. Instead of honoring the man's wish, Dr. House sedated the man and performed the treatment he wished to perform. One of the doctors asked Dr. House why they could not just help the man live his last days in peace. Dr. House commented "You either help a man live or you help him die".

     As I thought about this statement, I realized that all life will end in death. There are ways we try to hold death at bay- cosmetic surgery, working so hard to leave a legacy. The truth is, we who are living are marching towards death. Our bodies that do not work as well as it used to, the transitions of our lives, the relationships that have fizzled through time - these experiences should remind us that life is transitory and it will end in the final loss we will experience, death.

     Since death hangs like a cloud over all of us, it behooves us to prepare for death. How will life be different if we acknowledge this truth?

1. We will teach our children (and ourselves) to live with pain, guiding them through it and preparing them for it. A parent's tendency is to protect our children from pain, maybe by giving them all they want. However, life does not work that way. Many times we could not have what we want, and many times we lose the things that make us happy. This is despite how much money we have or how loving we are.

2. We will not hold on so tightly to the past. It is painful to hear a person reminisce so many times about when their child was four years old, and that child was already twenty. As a Christian, the past is a way to see God's work, making me who I am today and giving me times of happiness. In the past, I see the goodness of the God who is with me today, the great "I am" who walks with me through the transitions of life. It is not productive to desire the past since life is destined to move forward. 

3. We will not hold so tightly to what we have. There will be a modicum of non-attachment to what we have. This is paradoxical since the things we have gives us a sense of security- money, position, relationships. It is helpful to remember that, although things are a gift from God, they will not ultimately stop pain- which is a reminder of our impending death. A counterweight to non-attachment is responsibility. We are responsible to use our resources for the good of our world, and to be committed in our relationships. We need to live with sense of responsibility and the non-attachment that comes through knowing the transitoriness of life. 

4. We will be prepared for death. In one parable of Jesus, a servant was irresponsible in handling his master's money. The master is about to find out his irresponsibility and will most probably throw him out of his house. Therefore, he fudged the books to make friends. He lowered debts of those people who owe his master money. He did this so others may like him and take him in their houses when his master throws him out. I always wondered why Jesus commended this man's sneakiness. However, this story is not about being ethical. This story is about being prepared for judgment, which follows our inevitable death. Are we doing everything we can to be prepared for it? In Christian tradition, a good death depends on our relationship with Jesus. That relationship is one of faith. Do we walk with Jesus in faith that he will lead us to the good life, and take us to be with him after death? To die in faith is to have a good death.