In one episode of the show "Everybody Loves Raymond" there was a scene that bothered me deeply. Ray's parents accused their future in laws (Parents of Robert's future wife) of only tolerating them because they don't want to go to hell but want to go to heaven. I felt that is really offensive, considering that the only "blatant offense" of the future in-laws were being religious. I thought that was very judgmental. As is usually the case, when I encounter strong reactions within me, I step back and try to analyze what was offensive about it.

    It is unfortunate that people think just because someone is religious, his only motivation is going to heaven through being good on the outside. Some religious people are better than that. Understandably, that sentiment may have been fed by religious people who only work on being good outwardly, but not inwardly. They probably have acted "nice" towards people, but behind those people's backs. they are very unkind. This is a terrible misunderstanding of what, according to Judeao-Christian tradition is necessary to go to heaven. In this tradition, we talk about the circumcision of the heart. It is not enough to be kind outwardly, but that kindness must also come from a kind heart. Anything less is violation of God's law and is grounds for God's judgment. Therefore, the one who truly wants to go to heaven must work on having a kind heart, not just being kind outwardly. The problem is, it is hard to be kind in the inside. In our own power, we cannot defeat the forces of contempt and/or resentment that makes us unable to inwardly be kind to others. That is why in Christian tradition, people are called to repent and depend on the grace of God to bring them to heaven. Without that grace, no one can come into God's presence in heaven.

     The person making an allegation that somebody is just being nice because he wants to go to heaven is judging a person's heart. Unless one has evidence that a person is thrashing him behind his back, this allegation is uncalled for. "Nice" people may genuinely be working on their hearts and not closet hypocrites. I guess Ray's father takes pride in being real, in treating people the way they feel from their hearts. Basically, be nice to those you like and don't be nice to those you do not like. However, to live this way is antithetical to the life God calls humanity to. God calls humans to love their enemies, to be gentle to everyone whether you feel like it or not. Being "real" may seem cool but it does not make it the right way.