Here are two thoughts I have about God's grace this past few days.

1.  Grace is a good thing when it is given to me, but when it is given to someone else, grace could become a hard pill to swallow. One of the times I have come to a realization of that is when I get upset when some drivers drive so fast and they make me fear for my life. I hope in my heart that they get a ticket. However, when I speed and I see that police car behind me, I wish for grace, that I would get away with it. We sometimes do what we condemn others for and then thank God when we get away with it, even to the point of becoming boastful about not doing wrong.

2. In the beautitudes, there was a statement that if we love our enemies we will be sons of God. I flippantly thought that being sons of God is a reward. However, as I read it carefully, I noticed that the preceeding verses are about being kind to our enemies. Therefore, that statement "we will be sons of God" is a statement about how God is like. When we are kind to our enemies, we reflect God's mercy as a son usually reflects his father's looks, character, habits, ets.  We become partakers of the divine nature when we reflect the grace of God towards both friends and enemies. He causes rain to fall on the godly and the ungodly so they can grow food.

Who are our enemies? I think enemies can be looked at not as a static status (those who are different, those whom we hold a grudge against, etc). Enemies can also be a dynamic status. This means that even a friend could be an enemy at certain points. Those we love could be our enemies when they do us wrong. I believe this insight can help us with holding grudges. People do wrong things and sometimes we cast them off from our lives. If we are to be like God, I believe we can't cast off our enemies from our lives. God looks towards reconciliation. He sent his son to make his enemies into his friends. We also need to look towards reconciliation with our enemies. This does not mean letting those who have wronged us get away without suffering the consequences of their actions. There is evil and God abhors evil. For the sake of our Lord, justice must be served.

I was thinking of how the Catholic church made steps so that the Catholic priests who have abused children before would not have to face criminal prosecution. To them this may look like mercy (to the priests but not to the victims) but this was total disregard for God's law, not to mention state law which we are bound to obey as people of God, against harming children and having unlawful sexual relations. If the Catholic leaders love God, they would not have let those priests get away with their crimes. Saying that, it is possible to refrain from wishing evil on wrongdoers while letting them suffer the consequences of their actions. I believe this is the minimum act of love we can give to our enemies, to leave them in the hands of God, and not to actively seek their destruction through our actions.  

     As I thought about the Parable of the Prodigal Son, I have always wondered if there was really anything wrong with the Older son. Could we not look at him as someone who is seeking justice, something that most people seek for? His brother did not suffer the full consequence of his sin, alienation from his father. Does not he have the right to complain about the perceived injustice? I have heard of stories where criminals are forgiven by their victims. A part of me thinks it is wrong, since I believe that criminals should pay the full consequences of their crimes. However, as I think about God in the bible, from the beginning of creation, he has been a gracious God. After Cain murdered his brother Abel, the God who made Cain into a wanderer, in a great display of grace, placed a mark on Cain and protected him from anybody who is going to kill him.  

     The story of God's grace towards Cain made me reflect on what kind of God we have. He is a God who gives grace even to the worst of sinners. The sun shines on both the Godly and the UnGodly. This truth gave me a glimpse of what was wrong with the older son in the Parable of the Prodigal son, and the Pharisees of Jesus' day. They opposed the God of grace by inferring that God's grace does not rest on certain people. These certain people are the sinners and people who are different from them.

     Who then are the Pharisees of today? Those who drive people away from the Grace of God. When we shun people, not looking at them as worthy of salvation (eternal life in the presence of God), not worthy to become our brothers and sisters in Christ, we have become like the Pharisees. This could take the form of ignoring people who come to our church because we don't really want them to come back, or we may just be indifferent towards them.

    There is also another form of Pharisaism today. Remember that the Spirit of Phaisaism drives people away from the Grace of God, which saves them. Some liberal churches, by denying that salvation is found in Jesus Christ alone, is driving people away from God's grace. This liberal churches seem to be open to others, but in reality, they drive people away from God's grace. Jesus Christ is the provision of God's grace. To insinuate that a person does not need Jesus because any religion is good is to drive people away from God' grace.

    The older brother would have been fine if his brother continued to be a wanderer. The pharisees of today would have been fine to let others continue in spiritual darkness, whether by shunning them or by teaching that they don't need God's grace in Jesus. An antidote to Phariseeism is to acknowdedge that there is no other way to salvation except by grace through faith in Jesus, the personification of God's grace, a grace we are to share with all people.

     I was looking through pictures of our church basement from a mission trip to Zambia. Zambia is a very poor country and I saw pictures of men and women smiling, seemingly satisfied with life. These men and women don't have what we in the west feel are necessities of life- a nice car, a nice house. technological gadgets. However, they seem happy.

    This made me realize that there must be another source of happiness besides the necessities or luxuries that we may crave. My thoughts then moved to the prosperity gospel teachers who teach believers that it is fine to crave wordly luxuries and God can help you gain those worldly luxuries.

     To be fair, the people who flock to the prosperity teachers are needy people who desperately want God to give them relief from poverty. We should be understanding towards them. Also, the people in poor countries who find happiness should still benefit from our service. Material needs are not discounted by God and neither should we discount the material needs of others. However, it is wrong for the prosperity teachers to encourage people to seek riches and to use faith to bring about material prosperity. 

     The vision of the prosperity gospel is against Jesus' vision. When Jesus called people to follow him, he called them to follow him to the cross, not seek the approval of the world. This means that if we follow Jesus, we must renounce the desire to be first in the world in riches, health, etc. Our goal should be heaven or the face of God, and our joy should be that God, through Jesus, assures us that we will reach our goal. That assurance is so strong that it is presented as a present reality, not just a future hope. 

     The face of God is on those who follow his commands. If our goal is heaven or the face of God, then our journey in life (our dreams, our decisions) should be characterized by following the Lord who gave himself up for people. Whether rich or poor, our journey should be characterized by service and not the pursuit of riches.

     As I thought about one of my clients at work going to foster care, a vision of a child carrying her suitcase and walking into the darkness came into my mind. As a child who does not have a stable family she belongs to, I can just imagine the feeling of aloneness in her as she faces the future away from what she has known for awhile, the resdential facility and all the people in it.

     As for me, I have also faced the darkness. I remembered graduating from seminary not really knowing what I was going to do next. I had no vision of the future and I felt purposeless. However, unlike my client, I had an earthly family that I was able to come back to in the midst of my broken dreams. My relationship with my earthly family was less than ideal and I felt like a failure coming back. However, looking back, the stable eartly family was used by God to give me some relief as he led me into new directions.

     The power of family should be no surprise since the scriptures point to the family as ideally the foundation of economic and social welfare. The protection against land being taken away from a family, as shown for example by the law concerning the primary right of the kinsman redeemer to claim a family member's property, attests to the family being the foundation of economic welfare. The recognition of the parent's day to day role in shaping children's character to make them fit for life in a godly society attests to the family being the foundation of social welfare, since moral individuals make a moral society. In God's plan, the family, and not the state, is responsible for the welfare and moral education of individuals.  

     However, for me, the presence of family was not enough, especially because of the presence of sin. What truly sustained me was the belief in God's immutable presence. The same God who provided me happiness before was the same God who was with me during the times when I stepped into the darkness is the same God who is with me and he is capable of guiding me to the light. I hope that as you face the darkness, that you feel the presence of the God who was with you during times of joy.

     What also helped through the darkness is my belief that I belong in the family of God, the church. In the church, I found a community to mitigate the sadness I felt as I went through the darkness. The church also reminded me of the God who is there both in the good times and the bad times. I hope that the church would be for you who are facing the darkness an oasis in the midst of sadness. 

      There is a story in the Bible about Israel, the people of God, complaining about not having food and God giving them Manna (some kind of bread) and Quail as a response to their complaint. Some of us may be tempted to condemn the Israelites for not trusting God when sometime ago, they experienced God saving them from the Egyptians who chased them in an attempt to enslave them again.

     How could the Israelites lose sight of God's care for them? I believe that the experience of pain, in the form of hunger, blinded them from the reality of God's care. This should be understandable since a usual human reaction to pain is to question God's care. This brings me to the next question, "how can God allow experiences that make people doubt his care, and even his reality?"

     One biblical character, Joseph, experienced injustice in the hands of his brothers (they sold him into slavery), years of punishment for a crime he did not commit, being forgotten by somebody he has helped, and not seeing his mother during her last days. Where is God in the midst of Joseph's experience of suffering? Although the question of why God allows experiences that make people doubt his care is not directly answered by Joseph's story, it gives us a glimpse of how God operates.

1. God's love is sometimes not shown by taking us out of terrible situations. In Joseph's case, God's love is shown by being given wisdom and favor in the eyes of those whom he came in contact with. Many generations later, God assured Jesus of his love but he did not spare him from suffering. I believe this shows that God wants us to look for him not outside of our suffering but in the midst of our suffering.

2. God can use suffering for a greater good. God's concern is not just for the individual, but for whole communities. In reflecting on his life, Joseph told his brothers, "what you meant for evil, God meant for good, so the lives of many would be saved." Joseph was the one who made sure there would be food during a great famine. Jesus' suffering, although men intended it for evil, resulted in the reconcilliation of sinful men to God. I believe this shows that God intends to use our suffering for greater good. 

     It may seem cruel for God to allow people to suffer for the greater good. However, for the one whose desire is the glory of God, this is a sweet consolation.    

    I was reading in scriptures how Abraham, when he was looking for a graveyard for his wife, bowed down to the Hittites, the people whom he lived in the midst of. I have reflected on the significance of this bow and also the response of the Hittites to Abraham. The Hittites were willing to give him land to bury his wife for free, like it was his home. I see in this bible story Abraham's humility and his good reputation.

    When I was in college, I used to be concerned about beating those who oppose Christianity in arguments. I got myself familiar with apologetics so I can win arguments. Honestly, part of it is my fear of being taught of as not smart enough. I was very much concerned about my reputation. In the church today, we have meetings about reaching the community, being relevant, building relationships. A pastor asked me before if having potluck after church builds community. I said "no" since a potluck does not guarantee that people will be talking to each other, much less build relationships.

    This passage reminds me about the proper attitude towards our "mission fields". Abraham displayed humility, even though he has a special relationship with God. Humility streghtens relationships and relationships build community. One aspect of humility is showing deference towards others. Abraham's bow and his insistence that he pay for his wife's gravesite show that deference. What is our attitude towards those who disagree with us? Do we want to put them down or are we willing to value their opinion. Valuing a person's opinions, even when we disagree, is a sign of deference.

     We also notice in the interaction between Abraham and the Hittites that Abraham is well liked by the Hittites. I used to think that not caring about what others think is a sign of courage and courage is good. Something good can be said about standing for convictions. However, the bible also talks about the importance of a good reputation and Abraham definitely had a good reputation. Some people in Christian circles deliberately alienate those they disagree with by displaying an antagonistic attitude.

     Is it possible to stand up for convictions and be liked at the same time? I believe it is possible, by learning to communicate our convictions without putting down the convictions of others. Some kids and some adults display "opinionatedness." They demonize the views of others and lift up their own views as if it is the only right view. This is easily seen in the political arena, those on the left depict those in the right as uncaring, and those on the right depict those in the left as immoral.

     We should not encourage "opinionatedness" in our children, even if it is for the right things. When your child communicates a strong opinion about something, teach her that other people have good reasons for their opinions. There is always something good in people because they are made in the image of God. 

Songs that talk about the drive for greatness appeals to me. Two songs by Survivor come to mind- "Moment of Truth" and "Eye of the Tiger". Whitney Houston's "One moment in time" appeal to me also for the same reason. Those songs appeal to me because deep inside, I have the desire to stand out, to be better than anybody else, to be great.

This truth about me prompted me to ask the question,"Is the desire to be the best compatible with the Christian life?" This question comes in light of two things.

1. The Apostle's Paul admonition for Christians to imitate Christ who "Being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped".

2. The frustration that this drive will most definitely cause. Most of us will not become the best at what we do and would not reach the goals we have set for ourselves. Think about the Buffalo Bills, with their four Super Bowl appearances, and losing all of them. Imagine the frustration among the players who I'm sure had dreams of winning the Super Bowl, and getting so close. 

The truth is there are many things in life that we cannot change. The fact that we will most probably not reach the goals we set for ourselves is just one of them. How should we deal with this reality?

1. I believe we should leave the results of our "works" in God's providence. We are ultimately not in control of our futures. The solution to things not going our way is not to try harder to make things work our way. Behind frustration may be a call to accept that we are not in complete control. Frustration could also be a sign that God is leading us in a new direction. Wherever God is leading, remember that his goal is growth in our character, not necessarily our comfort or happiness.

2. Does that mean we should do our "work" haphazardly? What do we make of our desire to be great. Is that desire wrong? The desire to stand above others or to have complete control of our environments, including the people in them causes heartache for the person and those who are affected. However, God calls us to have dominion. Therefore, the desire for greatness is related to God's call to have dominion.

3. What is the goal of dominion? To participate in God's continuing creation, the Spirit's movement to perfect creation. This could take the form of finding cure for certain diseases. This could take the form of enhancing food production. This could take the form of giving people something to be admired- beauty, strength, speed. God enjoys a great football play and great artwork just like the next person. He created fast and beautiful animals and he enjoys them. He said creation was good when the animals were formed. Then he said creation was very good when humans were formed. All creation delighted God and our work delights God. We don't have to be great in everyone's eyes. Before God, we are already precious.     

There are some songs that are so memorable to me that I am taken back in time when I hear them. One of these songs is called "Let the Flame Burn Brighter" by Graham Kendrick. The chorus goes,

"Let the flame burn brighter in the heart of the darkness, turning night into glorious day, let our song grow louder, as our love grows stronger, let it shine, let it shine.

This song brings me back to Urbana 93. It was Dec. 31,1993 that I made the decision to pursue ministry. I had big dreams then. I saw myself as a witness to that flame that burns bright in the heart of the darkness. I thought I would be an instrument to turn the night into glorious day. I envisioned large crowds coming to faith or at least being part of a movement that will bring about a revival of faith.

For various reasons, this big dream has become a broken dream. I had to rethink my life, what had become of that dream. A new vision came to me, its a thousand little candles bringing light to a dark world. Those candles, by themselves, look insignificant. By themselves, they could not push back the darkness.

Those individual candles are like most of us. Our lives may not look significant. However, combined with all those other little candles, we become part of a movement to bring light into a dark world.

Maybe our sphere of influence is not a big auditorium. Maybe our sphere of influence are three kids who know the love of Jesus because of us. This is God's plan, that little candles will spring up throughout creation, bringing light into a dark world. 

God sent the Holy Spirit as a tongue of fire that descended on individuals. It did not come as the spectacular sight of a big fireball. The challenge for many of us is to fight the despair that comes from starting out with visions of a big flame only to find ourselves as little candles. God is using little candles to bring light into a dark world. To God be the Glory.

I have been critical of the idea that Christianity is all about a personal relationship with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, it is true that to be a Christian is to have a personal relationship with Jesus. My problem before was that some Christians see themselves as having a pipeline to God. They don't have to listen to preachers, to other Christians in history, etc. They have their bible and hear directly from God. This God is usually only concerned about their personal fulfillment, and not about loving their neighbors, especially the helpless.

I realize now that sometimes everything has to melt away and look at yourself as standing right before God. People have many expectations of us and it will drive us insane if we think too much about what other people think of us and how we are conducting our lives. Not that it is not important what people think, but we must remember that God is ultimately the judge of our hearts. We must listen to his voice to help us know if there are any error in us, and then humbly acknowledge those errors to God and to others.   

I believe that when the bible says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom", it invites us to let everything melt away and then invites us to stand before God with an open heart, ready to accept his correction and his forgiveness. Our "wisdom' is sometimes clouded by people's expectations of us. We act sometimes based on what others expect of us instead of acting based on what God expects of us. For example, we could be afraid of losing the friendship of someone who expects us to be supportive of him no matter what he does, therefore, we never question his behavior. However, to fear the Lord would require us to tell the truth about a friend's behavior, even if it means losing that friend. God must stand above everything in our lives. That is what it means to fear the Lord. 

I loved the prequel to the Star Wars series. It was intriguing to see the process in which Darth Vader became who he is. The Star Wars prequel helped us become familiar with Darth Vader by recounting the story of Anakin Skywalker, the man who became Darth Vader.

I have been thinking about people who claim to know Jesus but have worldviews that are contrary to the Jewish worldview. There are some who claim to know Jesus who believe that everything is God (Pantheists). There are some who claim to know Jesus (or at least understand his teachings and seek to apply them) who believe that God is not involved in history (Deists). 

A recent sermon by my Pastor has brought me to a reflection on the words above the cross "King of the Jews." Is this just mocking words  or a statement of Jesus' claim, which is also his crime? Or did God also intend for these words to be a statement of Jesus' identity, an identity we must explore if we are to know Jesus fully?

I believe that the second statement is true. God intended the statement above the cross to be a prequel to the story of Jesus. In other words, if we want to know Jesus, we need to look at the story of the Jewish people and their aspirations concerning their king. This story is recorded in the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, we find out that the throne of the king is also the throne of the personal God who created the universe and liberated the Jews from bondage (Psalm 2). In the Old Testament, we also find out that the King of the Jews will become the king of all nations (Isaiah 11).

We cannot make up a Jesus who fits our own worldviews or mindsets. Jesus could not be one of many gods in a pantheon. Jesus could not just be the ideal human being. Jesus could not just be a regular prophet who teaches us about God and his standards. Jesus is the ultimate king of the Jews, the one who fulfills the human aspiration for shalom (Matthew 11:25-30). Any other Jesus is not the true Jesus. May you turn to the King of the Jews for the peace that your heart longs for.