A question was posed to me a long time ago by a friend. He asked me "Why are Christians against Polygamy when the bible does not explicitly forbid it?" He has a point, the bible does not explicitly prohibit polygamy. I believe though that monogamy was affirmed as the better way when the apostle Paul proclaimed that a church leader should be married to one woman.

    As I reflected on this question, I thought about how life would have been in the household of Jacob, the patriarch of Israel. He had two wives, Rachel and Leah, not to mention concubines. Imagine Jacob having an argument with Rachel and Rachel was so upset with him she throws him out of her tent. Jacob has a choice, he could try to reconcile with Rachel or say to himself, I don't need her, I have Leah. He will just have to go to Leah to get his love tank filled. That second choice will be painless and does not require humility. Even worse, Jacob could have said, "I'm tired of you Rachel" and threw her out. The fact that he did not do this is commendable. He knew he had to take care of Rachel and he gave her his faithfulness.

     The prohibition of sexual immorality- any sex outside of the bonds of marriage, is rooted in God's goal of creating a culture of faithfulness. The truth is, sex creates attachment. It is a powerful force that dissipates a person's relational energy. It is a giving of the self and the possessing of another soul. Some may argue that it is just a bodily function, persons using each other for pleasure. That is exploitative, valuing a person only for the pleasure they give, not for their whole self. We now have people running around unable to create lasting bonds, because they have become used to destroying bonds and the pain it brings. What would be the condition of souls who feel that they can be discarded at any moment and that they can do the same thing? What kind of society is being built?

     Politicians think about how they can reform the welfare system. The truth is that the ideal social net is the family because of the natural bond. That is why there is a command to honor parents, and there are regulations about family members redeeming their own from debt. I always wonder where the families of the beggars in our streets are. The best explanation is that they are somehow estranged. Jesus brought together a culture of faithfulness, the church, where a spiritual bond exists. Although the church is called to bear individuals' burdens like a family would, it also calls the person to reconcile his broken relationships. One way the church becomes salt and light to the world is by promoting reconciliation, the rebuilding of relationships. I remember in college, being immersed in my Christian fellowship that I was satisfied being estranged, at least psychologically, from my family. I now realize that my attitude should have been conciliatory. This does not mean that a person should always follow the family. Christ and his glory has become the main priority for a Christian. A Hindu who becomes Christian should not worship idols, even if it causes her to be disowned. However, she should still attempt to be conciliatory, treating her family with gentleness and respect just because it is right.

     The culture of faithfulness builds individuals who feel safe, that there will always be someone familiar in their life, that nobody will harm them purposely, that they can count on their spouses to be with them through good times and bad times, that their neighbors will respect what they have worked for, that they can trust that their neighbors will not destroy their reputation, and that their neighbors are satisfied with what they have. In a culture of faithfulness, individuals are loved for themselves, not for what they could give. How can this culture of faithfulness be built? By striving to live by God's command to love our neighbors, including those whom we consider enemies.

     Jesus led the way to the building of this culture by dying on the cross. His death on the cross is his way of reconciling us to God, something we need but can't do for ourselves. He invites us to follow him to the cross, joining ourselves to him in faith, believing that his way will bring us peace, and bring peace to our broken world.