I heard on the radio a lady answering the question "What is the difference between the statue of David (A naked figure of a man) and pornography?" The lady's answer was that the author of the Statue of David is celebrating the beauty of the human body, whereas pornography only awakens the sexual impulses and treats the image as a sexual object.

     At first glance, this answer seems good. However, it also gives the impression of holding the author of a work of art solely responsible for the effects of his creation. There are three components to communication- the author, the "text", and the audience. The author is independent of his audience. Let me explain.  

     A photographer may take pictures of a naked woman only for the purpose of people admiring her beauty. However, another person may see this picture and look at the woman as a sexual object. Even if the photographer explains the picture, the one who looks at the picture can still choose to look at the picture however he wants. Without knowing the photographer, we can't know his intention for his picture.

     This short explanation shows us that pornography is not a black and white issue. The battle against pornography cannot stop at preventing x-rated websites and media to invade homes. That doesn't deal with the "softer" versions of porn in our billboards, grocery checkout lines, and malls. Many of these "softer" porn were probably not intended to awaken sexual desire. On the other hand, advertisers know that sex sells. We could not just address the "authors" but also the "audiences".

     There was a show on Dateline a while ago that exposes men who try to have sexual relations with underage girls or boys. I believed it was a shortsighted project and somehow hypocritical. Is is shortsighted in that it does not recognize the deeper issue that sexuality has lost its sacredness, thereby loosening the boundaries between legitimate and illegitimate sexual desires. It is hypocritical because many of the same people who condemn those men also has problems with their view of sexuality. 

     Sex has become an activity engaged in to release desire or tension. It has ceased to serve God's intention for the oneness of the man and woman in the bonds of marriage. In some minds, the human body is ripped apart from the human soul and all that is left is an object to be possessed. Without God's help, minds that started on this road will continue on the path of devaluing humans and human relationship. This leads to the path of isolation and disconnectedness. A people that cheapens relational bonds, sexual bond being the strongest, will disintegrate, losing its ability to form faithful bonds.  

     I speak as a man who is affected by the sexualization of our society. I understand the power of sexual desire. To heal the disentegration of our society, we need to hold relationships, including the sexual relationship, as sacred again. Instead of looking at God's creation, including human bodies, as objects to be used and then discarded after fulfilling its purpose, let us treat all creation with honor. Let us fill our mind with respectful thoughts of ourselves and others. If we don't, we will become slaves to our bodily desires, unable to apprehend the value of God and his creation.   

     It has become commonplace to hear conversations that are peppered with words that are considered "bad" by general society (f---, s---, etc). It seems like the lingo has become commonplace. Working with kids who usually use that lingo, and hearing music that use that lingo, makes me think about what is behind this phenomenon. First, let us think about when this lingo is used. Usually it is used when somebody is upset (the way it has become used as "angry" language is probably someone thinking of that word to cast aspersions at somebody). Normal conversations are not peppered with those words. How have they become acceptable? 

     Could it be that the people who use these words have been considered cool? This shows then that we have to be careful around young people, especially those who consider us role models. Theypick up our language. If we slip, we need to remember that those words are exclamations, you suddenly got angry and say you are sorry, and remind them that those words are not to be used for regular conversation. We need to say that it is not acceptable, and we are working on it.

    It is not acceptable for various reasons. Constant use of those words make it look like we are angry all the time, which gives us a bad reputation, or we just don't consider limits in our conversation (we don't care about other people's sensibilities). It shows us to be disrespectful of others. Another reason is that we need to be understandable. Those swear words are usually not understandable as part of a conversation. Swear words are usually fighting words and fighting words have no place in a culture of gentleness. They serve to push people away.

     A culture of gentleness is one that does not resort to physical or verbal violence in dealing with others. In conflict, people in this culture would remember that the other person that bothers them is a valuable individual created in the image of God. It will not wallow in its disrespect and desire for vengeance. A culture of gentleness imitates the God who gives rain to the just and the unjust. Some may point out that Jesus was harsh to some but gentle to others. However, on closer inspection, Jesus did eat with sinners AND also with Pharisees, considered to be his enemies. He had some harsh words, but his goal is repentance. A culture of gentleness is one that makes its goal reconciliation, not domination (People who swear are considered the "tough" ones and use their toughness to dominate others). Swear words does not bring about reconciliation and therefore, we should make an effort to eliminate it. A start of eliminating it is to develop a gentle heart, a heart that seeks reconciliation and understanding. Help young people value gentleness in speech and manner.

     One of the songs that I find catchy is "I want to be a millionare". Not only is it catchy but it also resonates with what I wish sometimes, that I would have more money to buy things and to feel safe about the future. As a child or an adolescent, you may not wish so much for money, but you may wish so much to be as popular or as "beautiful" as some other peers in school. This wish may consume you so much that you would do anything to fit in, and be distraught when you don't fit in. I want to warn you about being consumed by these things.

     Those things you wish for- being as pretty or as popular, does not give you the things you need deep inside. You may think it does but it will just disappoint you. One day you will long for somebody to love you for who you are. You may have all the money or beauty in the world but it does not necessarily get you that unconditional love. People could be fickle, sometimes they hang out with you when things are going well, but when bad things happen- you don't satisfy them or you become deformed, they will leave you. Nothing in this world is guaranteed to last through the good times and the bad times. God blesses us with people and things and it is to him we should be thankful. However, they are not guaranteed to last. We should not be running around trying to fill those deep needs, but trust God to provide for those deep needs.

    Another danger of being obsessed with popularity or "beauty", is it disengages us with life. That obsession is like a drug, you could become fixated on one thing, obtaining that drug so you can get a certain feeling back, and abandoning other responsibilities towards friends and family. Let me explain. God made humans to take care of creation, to join God in making this world a better place. This is done through developing our minds and bodies (reading and exercise), cleaning your environment, helping others, etc. Laziness or sloth, as the church of old called it, is a sin against God and a breeding ground for more sin. Just as God is involved in his creation, holding it together, we shold also be involved in his creation. So my plea to you is to look at outside yourself, think of ways you could love God and people better, instead of being fixated on fitting in or being happy. I know it is hard, but know that living in a way that God desires- being just, merciful, and humble, is what will bring you real happiness in the long run. It is for your own good.

     You probably have experienced not being able to get a song out of your head, or not being able to get an image out of your head. Everyone has this experience. I heard this line from a song by Soulja Boy and it got stuck on my head.

This right here is my pretty boy swag (ayee), Pretty boy swag (4x)

This is why your parents don't want you to listen to certain kinds of music or watch certain shows. Some of you may know the next parts of this song , the next words are too sexual for most people. However, the problem with this song, or any song, is usually deeper than the lyrics. I believe that some songs that do not have inappropriate lyrics can actually have a deeper problem.

Let me explain. People usually just look at the language and see if it is appropriate. I advice you to be discerning. When you listen to music, or watch TV, I advice you to think of these questions, not just look to your parent's approval.

1) Is it in line with the gospel? Whitney Houston's song "The greatest love of all" is inspirational for many people. However, it teaches that love for self is the greatest love of all. If Jesus is our paradigm for how a person should be, his followers cannot glorify self-love. The greatest love is shown on the cross, with Jesus giving his life for many. Granted, Jesus' desire is to give his life so in a sense he is loving himself by dying on the cross. However, unlike we humans who are naturally prideful, Jesus is humble. His joy is to give up himself for others so they can live. A prideful person loving himself would look like self-glorification, not going to the cross and giving up his life for the benefit of others, which is truly the greatest love of all. 

2) Is this awakening pride or any sinful tendencies? Think about the first song, it is basically saying, "look at me, if you are this cool, you can have the girls all over you (awakens both pride at attracting girls and the sexual impulse). God's ideal is one man dedicating himself to one woman and offering his sexuallity only to that woman.

Developing discernment is more effective than censorship at home. Children will always be exposed to sounds and images, and parents can't stop it. Parents must go beyond the language or the image, and learn to talk deeply about what their children hear and see. Parents must warn their children that awakening those parts of themselfves that are sinful or inappropriate at the moment will make it easier for them to fall into sin and therefore destroy their lives. This calls for parents to really know the gospel and impart Godly wisdom. Children, know the gospel and live wisely. 

     One of the questions that children, and even adults in school ask is "why do I have to study this?" I have reflected on this question in light of the growth in character that God wants from us and our children. There are two character issues involved.

1. Growth in cooperation. The state has decided that some things need to be learned by its citizens (standards of education). God also calls us to respect the authority of the state. The attitude of being against authority is not encouraged in God's word. What seems to be encouraged is an attitude of cooperation with authority (parents, government, teachers). To cooperate means to work with instead of working against. Authority is placed by God so we can have a more peaceful and orderly society. Standards create order and order is important to God.

2. Growth in industry. Education, both physical and academic, builds up our bodies and minds. Growth comes through hard work, even though we may have talents that God gave us. Hard work develops our bodies and minds so we could reach our potential. Working on a math problem develops the mind and makes it as powerful as God designed it to be. God created humans to subdue creation so it can be used for the benefit of mankind, not just for individuals. That mind and body that God gave you must be developed so it can be used for the benefit of mankind.