It has become commonplace to hear conversations that are peppered with words that are considered "bad" by general society (f---, s---, etc). It seems like the lingo has become commonplace. Working with kids who usually use that lingo, and hearing music that use that lingo, makes me think about what is behind this phenomenon. First, let us think about when this lingo is used. Usually it is used when somebody is upset (the way it has become used as "angry" language is probably someone thinking of that word to cast aspersions at somebody). Normal conversations are not peppered with those words. How have they become acceptable? 

     Could it be that the people who use these words have been considered cool? This shows then that we have to be careful around young people, especially those who consider us role models. Theypick up our language. If we slip, we need to remember that those words are exclamations, you suddenly got angry and say you are sorry, and remind them that those words are not to be used for regular conversation. We need to say that it is not acceptable, and we are working on it.

    It is not acceptable for various reasons. Constant use of those words make it look like we are angry all the time, which gives us a bad reputation, or we just don't consider limits in our conversation (we don't care about other people's sensibilities). It shows us to be disrespectful of others. Another reason is that we need to be understandable. Those swear words are usually not understandable as part of a conversation. Swear words are usually fighting words and fighting words have no place in a culture of gentleness. They serve to push people away.

     A culture of gentleness is one that does not resort to physical or verbal violence in dealing with others. In conflict, people in this culture would remember that the other person that bothers them is a valuable individual created in the image of God. It will not wallow in its disrespect and desire for vengeance. A culture of gentleness imitates the God who gives rain to the just and the unjust. Some may point out that Jesus was harsh to some but gentle to others. However, on closer inspection, Jesus did eat with sinners AND also with Pharisees, considered to be his enemies. He had some harsh words, but his goal is repentance. A culture of gentleness is one that makes its goal reconciliation, not domination (People who swear are considered the "tough" ones and use their toughness to dominate others). Swear words does not bring about reconciliation and therefore, we should make an effort to eliminate it. A start of eliminating it is to develop a gentle heart, a heart that seeks reconciliation and understanding. Help young people value gentleness in speech and manner.